Last minute before moving

It's 10 pm on Friday.

I will move tomorrow around 6pm.

I am a little annoyed that it is so late, but I don't really have much of a choice.

I have all my clothing packed (except the stuff that is still drying from my laundry yesterday).

I have all my bathroom stuff packed.

I packed everything in my bedroom (essentially).

My kitchen, however, is a freaking disaster.

I can't pack up kitchen stuff because I just don't know how. It's totally over my head.

Also, I ran out of boxes (I have one left and all my kitchen stuff left to pack)

But, I am way better off than I was in the last move.

Plus, I got word from the part-time job that she will pay for the visa run IF I get my fbi background check by the first week of September. That gives me one month. LET'S GO FBI!

Please, everyone, fingers crossed please. I really need this job. Like seriously really need it.

Stress.

Somehow I manage to make my job as impossibly difficult as I can. Take this week for example. Tomorrow, I fly to Manila, Philippines. My flight departs from Incheon International Airport at 9:15, so I will need to be at the airport around 7:15/7:30. It will take about an hour and a half to get to the airport from my apartment, so I need to leave no later than 6:00. I get off school at 4:30. no problem, right?

Wrong.

I have to go to the Stationary Store before I leave so I can pick up some materials for my classes next week. I need felt and foam board for the activities they will be doing (creating a news weather report). The stationary store is about 20 minutes from my apartment. So. Get off at 4:30, get to bus stop by 4:45, an hour for shopping and trip there and back, puts me at my apartment around 5:45. I guess I will probably have to take a taxi to the stationary store, which is a big fucking pain because it's expensive and stupid because the stationary store isn't that far from my apartment.

Also, I haven't so much as started making the powerpoints for either of the grades (naturally I decided to make different plans for the grades this week) so I have no idea when I will do that. Tomorrow I have one hour free to make worksheets/handouts AND powerpoints AND make sure everything is in order before I leave. I have to remember my passport and my id and 9000 other things. GAH.

Did I mention I haven't packed and that instead I'm choosing to blog. STUPID ME.

Wish me luck and minimal stress as I embark on this weekend.

Did I mention to anyone that I get back into Incheon International Airport at 6 a.m. on Monday morning. This means I will take a taxi and then manage to shower and eat and then go straight to work (where I am not prepared). FML.

xoxo,
A

And away we go!

Packing is finally coming together. I had to use two vacuum bags to save space, but so far, so good!

I have the finishing touches to add to my suitcases (a few shirts here, a bathing suit there), and a couple last errands to run and phone calls to make, and I am DONE.

I called SunPass and cancelled my account, and got my remaining $15.25 back (heck yes).

I saw everyone at Publix to day (read: melissa canatella, Mrs. Stolow, Mr. Ostroff) which was kinda cool.

Sunday I'm headed to Miami to spend some time with Eric and Kate, and then Monday at 3:25, I'm OFF!

Loneliness

This is how I feel about loneliness:

It comes when a grandmother breaks her hip. When she feels like she can't do anything anymore, and must rely on others. Even though so many people come and go through the house, she is still alone, because she is unable to perform ALONE.

It comes when you move to China and you have adhd and anxiety and someone fights in a club and you don't know what else to do. It comes when you think you want to go home and have forgotten that you know you will regret it. It comes when the one person you care about more than anything can't help.

It comes when you go on a business trip away from home a week before your daughter leaves. When you're busy doing a job that maybe you don't love the way you used to. It comes when you realize that you are in Phoenix or Indianapolis or San Jose or Montgomery and the only place you want to be is home.

It comes when you have to care for your mother-in-law, even when you're exhausted because there is no one else who can. It comes when, at 9:30 p.m., you are driving home and falling asleep and drifting off the road because you can't keep your eyes open anymore. It comes in the form of mandarin chicken salads and baked potatoes from Wendy's.

It comes when you have to work at JCPenney when you don't want to. It comes when you know people need you somewhere else but your obligations and responsibility tie you to where you are.

It comes when you are packing to go to another country and you just need someone there. Someone just to be present. It comes when your grandmother broke her knee, your dad is on a business trip, your mom is caring for your grandma, one of your best friends is in China, and you sister is in Tampa.

I'm being selfish, but I don't care. I want my mom here. I don't necessarily need her to do anything for me, but I want her here.

I didn't think this was going to be so hard, but it is. Circumstances have made it so.

Packing

Makes my head explode.

I got an e-mail from EPIK yesterday that basically said that in addition to having to pack my entire life up in two 50 lb. suitcases and a carry-on, I also have to be prepared to spend the 9 day orientation with only one suitcase, so I have to pack one suitcase with everything that I *think* I will need for Orientation (business casual clothes, pajamas, all personal hygiene, contract & diploma, casual evening clothes). I will not have any access to any other suitcases for the duration of the orientation, so if I'm missing something, I'm pretty much SOL.

I feel like not going to Korea would be significantly easier than trying to pack right now. Seriously, this SUCKS.

Left & Leaving

Everything is packed. I sleep in my apartment for the last night tonight. After that, it's throw the sheets in the car, commencement, GOING AWAY PARTY, and home.

I leave for Korea in 11 days, people. I am just beginning to freak out. My Gainesville life is pretty much done-zo.

xoxo,
A

Success

So packing yesterday was not particularly successful, in the sense that I packed one tiny box full of clothing to offer my sister. My room is currently a big fat freaking mess. I did three loads of laundry yesterday, and one clean load is currently chillin on my bedroom floor right now. I'll have to take care of that soon. I did succeed in going through a bunch of my t-shirts and being pretty selective in the shirts I actually kept. Anything that could even be considered slightly too small or slightly too worn got tossed quickly into the salvation army/garbage piles respectively.

My closet is looking okay. I threw out two big bags of garbage yesterday, so slowly but surely I think I'm making my way to a cleaned up apartment. The hard part will prove to be the little things. The knick-knacks the pictures, the stupid shit I never really needed but have now.

Last night, unlike the daytime, was a complete success. I went with Ximena (a coworker at the ELI) to a party at a student's apartment. It was mostly a Spanish-speaking crowd and as they and I proceeded to drink, I was heckled increasingly to speak Spanish. By the end of the night, I was speaking pretty much freely, and it was received really well. I hate speaking Spanish to big groups of native speakers because I'm concerned that they are going to judge me and then correct every little thing and I won't be able to communicate because I'll just shut down. I think I'm so used to being in school where mistakes are bad, and they grade your spanish in a very real way, with As and Bs, and I'm really used to being pretty good in the classroom setting, that the prospect of having other native speakers listening terrifies me in a lot of ways. I ended up having a conversation about Spanish speakers and American mentalities and prejudices IN SPANISH. Victory.

Anyways, today I will be going to the mall. Gap is having a sale (30% off everything!!!) and I have a giftcard I'd like to use.

Also, I will hopefully start to put some things in boxes and shit.

Goodbye Gainesville. 5 days.

One week.

I have one week left in Gainesville (eight days to be exact, I suppose).

Tonight=last night at the atlantic

It's crazy how quickly everything is approaching. I am *very* slowly cleaning out my room. The problem is that as I get rid of things, I also continue to acquire more things that just complicate the moving out procedure. Slow but steady progress. That's where I'm at now. I've passed on some old frisbee stuff. Closet cleaning time is quickly approaching. I have cleats in there that are 3+ years old, which is gross. I have all sorts of things that I simply don't wear or don't like or forgot I had.

My motto is: if it hasn't been worn in the last 8 months (thusly, my winter clothers stay, otherwise it'd be three months), I don't need it.

We'll see how far I get with that. haha

xoxo,
A

Tomorrow I mail my visa application. This week I book my ONE-WAY flight to Incheon, South Korea. Two and a half weeks left in Gainesville.

This weekend was wonderful. I went home and got to see ALI! We caught up on a lot of what's been going on in each others' lives. It was great to see her. Plus, Eric and Kate were visiting too, so I got to see them.

The family and I went to this great restaurant in Lake Worth called Bizaare Avenue Cafe, which was delicious. I had gnocchi alla vodka, which was spicy and delicious. Also, I got to do lots of shopping for new work-type clothes. It's so weird that I'm going to sort of be a "professional" or at least that I have to dress as though I were. I got a new skirt (so cute) a little purple shrug sweater, a blue cardigan, and a couple tops (purple french cuff, wine colored button down, etc).

Got back today. Had mochi with work (froyo talk instead of coffee talk, haha).

Once I mail this application off, I'll just get to focus on packing and preparing and maybe squeezing in a couple korean lessons? Who knows.

xoxo,
A