So I wouldn't say this has been my best week ever, but I'm hoping it will get better. I think my new lesson which starts tomorrow and runs through next Wednesday is pretty tight and well-made, and I'm hoping it really enforces the lesson that I taught last week and increases their ability as they continue to use the how often construction and its appropriate responses.
Aside from my general optimism regarding the upcoming lesson, my week has certainly been less than stellar so far. To start on Sunday, I simply didn't get anywhere near all the things that I had wanted to accomplish done. My to-do list is about a kilometer long (hey, you like that i've switched to metric these days?) especially since buying my computer has induced a flurry of file transfers, important application downloads and general orientation to the new operating system.
Then, starting Tuesday and lasting through Friday are parent visitation days in which any parent can come to classes to observe at any time. It's a little nerve-wracking, and I've felt obliged to dress nicely, although I'm throwing that one to the dogs tomorrow, when I will wear jeans, and i don't care what minji's mom says about it. This is just stressful knowing that parents are watching you and evaluating you and then reporting to the school their impressions.
Then, on Tuesday night, after finally transferring all my music files to itunes on the macbook, I attempted to sync my ipod. Naturally, it totally didn't work and got all effed up and cause itunes to freeze and subsequently cause finder to freeze thereby making it impossible to eject my ipod either via itunes or manually through the desktop/finder/disk eject. So I tried about a million more times and my ipod is currently sitting on my coffee table restored to factory settings, with a full battery charge and absolutely no music on it whatsoever. Evidently my computer can not read my ipod. FML. So on Saturday morning before frisbee I suppose I may be headed to the apple store to inquire about what the hell is wrong. Unless it miraculously starts working again suddenly. Not likely.
After finally following asleep in the dress I wore to work on Tuesday, I managed to have easily the most terrifying dream series. I would wake up nauseous and terrified and fall back asleep and my dream would restart essentially wherever I left off. What was my dream about, exactly? Oh, you know, my father was killing everyone in my family and circle of close friends in gruesome and horrifying murders. For example, severing legs off, crushing with rocks, and attempting to suffocate me by spraying hairspray in my face for like hours. God. It was terrifying. In my dream, I tried to call 911, but they didn't believe me so they didn't come.
Lately I have been so so tired, and it's bizarre because last week I slept so well, and now it's just disappeared, and I can't sleep through the night to save my life. On Monday night, I woke up about a dozen times to run to the bathroom, sick and nauseous. On Tuesday night, night terrors. What'll be tonight, fate?
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Good Morning Korea
Just woke up here. It was supposed to maybe snow last night, but it didn't. It DID snow a couple nights ago, though. I didn't see the snow falling, but I saw snow on the ground, which was awesomely cool! I am up early for no apparent reason except that my body has clearly adjusted to getting up at 6:45 a.m. everyday. So, yeah.
I've been cutting out feathers this morning. It's been a busy day already. So, this week is Thanksgiving, obviously. In Korea, of course, they don't celebrate this holiday and so I wanted to introduce it to my students. And I though, gee, what better way than to make hand turkeys? It's the classic Thanksgiving art project and my students LOVE to do arts and crafts. So, I'm going to do a powerpoint about Thanksgiving for 10 minutes, and dedicate the other 35 minutes to hand turkeys. I figure it will take 10-15 minutes to make five I'm thankful for ___________ sentences, and then 20 minutes for everything else, the assembly of hand turkeys. I had considered having the students cut out their own feathers, but I assure, that would have taken 20 minutes of the class just to draw and cut so they would never be finished at the end of class. So, I thought, I'll just cut out feathers. I printed out several pages of feathers (I'm not good enough to free hand them) and started cutting. After about 72 feathers (I printed 72 of each color in the first round) I did the calculations, and it suddenly struck me that I have to cut out roughly 3000 feathers. Now here I am at just over 300, 10% done, and I think I'm going to kill myself. haha. My over-ambition is biting in the butt yet again.
As an aside, I'm going to a wedding this afternoon for one of my coworkers. I'm really looking forward to it, even though my co-teacher has warned me that it's not very interesting and it's really really short (30 minutes + eating and you go home)
Also, yesterday sucked. Well, yesterday was awesome, but the after school hours SUCKED.I got out of school early (my coteacher wanted to go somewhere, and I had a bill to pay, so I was cool with her using me as an excuse to get out early). Last time I had this bill to pay, I went to work on a day off (founders day of my school) and paid. This time, however, I got to the bank too close to closing time and they wouldn't do it. Luckily, my bill can be paid at other places, like the SHOW store. Show is the company that provides my phone service, and they are a subsidiary of the company that provides my internet service, which is what my bill was for. So I go to the Show store about 10 minute walk from the bank and give them my bill and my debit card. She asked for my Alien Registration Card, which is normal. I give it to her, and then after some typing, she says to me (in Korean) something along the lines of, your ARC card doesn't match you account information. Do you have another id number? At which point I realized I needed my passport because it is what I used to open my bank account, not my ARC. Unfortunately I didn't have my passport, and could only remember the first half of the numbers. So, I couldn't pay my bill. This was really frustrating. Supposedly I can pay it at the convenience store, which I will try today, but if that doesn't work, I'm going to rip my hair out and scream. And probably cry.
So yeah. That's that. Now it's time to focus on cutting out more paper feathers.
xoxo
A
I've been cutting out feathers this morning. It's been a busy day already. So, this week is Thanksgiving, obviously. In Korea, of course, they don't celebrate this holiday and so I wanted to introduce it to my students. And I though, gee, what better way than to make hand turkeys? It's the classic Thanksgiving art project and my students LOVE to do arts and crafts. So, I'm going to do a powerpoint about Thanksgiving for 10 minutes, and dedicate the other 35 minutes to hand turkeys. I figure it will take 10-15 minutes to make five I'm thankful for ___________ sentences, and then 20 minutes for everything else, the assembly of hand turkeys. I had considered having the students cut out their own feathers, but I assure, that would have taken 20 minutes of the class just to draw and cut so they would never be finished at the end of class. So, I thought, I'll just cut out feathers. I printed out several pages of feathers (I'm not good enough to free hand them) and started cutting. After about 72 feathers (I printed 72 of each color in the first round) I did the calculations, and it suddenly struck me that I have to cut out roughly 3000 feathers. Now here I am at just over 300, 10% done, and I think I'm going to kill myself. haha. My over-ambition is biting in the butt yet again.
As an aside, I'm going to a wedding this afternoon for one of my coworkers. I'm really looking forward to it, even though my co-teacher has warned me that it's not very interesting and it's really really short (30 minutes + eating and you go home)
Also, yesterday sucked. Well, yesterday was awesome, but the after school hours SUCKED.I got out of school early (my coteacher wanted to go somewhere, and I had a bill to pay, so I was cool with her using me as an excuse to get out early). Last time I had this bill to pay, I went to work on a day off (founders day of my school) and paid. This time, however, I got to the bank too close to closing time and they wouldn't do it. Luckily, my bill can be paid at other places, like the SHOW store. Show is the company that provides my phone service, and they are a subsidiary of the company that provides my internet service, which is what my bill was for. So I go to the Show store about 10 minute walk from the bank and give them my bill and my debit card. She asked for my Alien Registration Card, which is normal. I give it to her, and then after some typing, she says to me (in Korean) something along the lines of, your ARC card doesn't match you account information. Do you have another id number? At which point I realized I needed my passport because it is what I used to open my bank account, not my ARC. Unfortunately I didn't have my passport, and could only remember the first half of the numbers. So, I couldn't pay my bill. This was really frustrating. Supposedly I can pay it at the convenience store, which I will try today, but if that doesn't work, I'm going to rip my hair out and scream. And probably cry.
So yeah. That's that. Now it's time to focus on cutting out more paper feathers.
xoxo
A
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Wow. Just, wow.
So I figured it would come. I thought it would come sooner, but I knew it would come regardless. No, I don't miss home yet. Not exactly. I'm actually just really really frustrated with my job. Bear with me as I explain why.
1. I feel ineffective.
a)My classes have 40 students. In any given class the only thing the students have in common, level-wise, is that they are in the same grade. Aside from that, there are some students who understand literally NOTHING I say the entire class. By that I mean, they don't know what is your name, they don't know how old are you, nada. zip. zilch. zero. Then, there are some students who understand everything I say, and do the activities perfectly and speedily, and dear god I can hardly keep up. And then there is the other 70% of the class who are somewhere in the middle, wading amongst English words they recognize but can't use and understand but can't recreate on their own.
b) I see each student only once/week. I see each class only once/week. This means that I see all 630 students every week, but only one time/week. So, I can't remember anyone's name. Additionally, the students get only the most minimal practice of any of the work I do in our class. They have my class for 45 minutes once a week. 45 minutes is not nearly enough time to learn anything. Imagine if we had taken a Spanish class in high school for 45 minutes 1x per week. Now imagine if we had taken that class at age 13. Now imagine if we had taken that class at 13, with a teacher who literally speaks no more than 50 words of English. Most people learn nothing in their high school Spanish classes, so just imagine if this were the situation. This is precisely the situation in my classroom.
c) I have no idea how to discipline the students. Aside from stern looks, I don't discipline. I had assumed my co-teachers would handle the discipline section of the class (I was under the impresion that's how it was done at all the schools with native english teachers). Unfortunately my teachers don't really do much punishing. As such, my students have nearly free reign. I can give minus points, but I'm fairly hesitant to do that, because minus points directly factor into students grades. It's interesting because outside of school I'm a hardass, but in the classroom I can't figure out the appropriate way to handle discipline situations, and so I just don't do anything. It's beginning to get out of hand.
2. My co-teachers don't help me.
a) Upon arrival, I was told that I will not be using the books that the students use during the rest of their English classes. As such, I have to create my own lessons from scratch that probably has nothing to do with their lessons in their other classes. This is particuarly difficult and frustrating because they are learning multiple English lessons in a single week. 4 days/week they have English with their native Korean teacher, plus once/week English class with me, and most of them 2-5 times/week have English classes at hagwons, or private academies the girls attend after school. As such, they are learning up to three entirely different grammar points or ideas simultaneously. Now, which grammar point do you think they are least likely to remember? The one they receive 4x/week, the one they receive up to 5x/week or the one they get once/week? Obviously, mine.
b) Co-teaching supposedly implies some sort of teamwork or partnered approach to teaching in the classroom. Typically, in my classroom the only teamwork we do is her being present. I have 4 co-teachers, and typically none of them do much of anything. My primary co-teacher usually spends the majority of her time reading a book, and occasionally looking up to tell the students to pipe down or maybe, when times get desperate, translate something I say. The other ones will walk around and occasionally prompt students for answers, but that's about it. I should have been more assertive when I came here, but I just wasn't. I simply did not lay down the ground rules, I did not encourage more participation from the co-teachers, so now here I am.
c) I don't get any feedback on my lessons. The teachers usually don't talk to me about how a week is going in terms of lessons. I usually can tell when something sucks and I try to alter it, but really, I wish they would let me know. Unfortunately this is not the Korean way.
3. My students clearly do not fully respect me as their teacher. Generally they are relatively good, with few behavior problems. However, I've seen them with other teachers, and I have seen them with their homeroom teachers. There is no talking while the teacher is speaking. There is no note passing. Or not nearly as much anyways. Instead, I can consistently count on 2-4 girls holding their own conversations apart from the class, anywhere between 2 and 10 girls asleep, and another 10 passing notes. Gah. I want to rip my hair out.
It's a drag.
There are some really disappointing things about my job.
1. I feel ineffective.
a)My classes have 40 students. In any given class the only thing the students have in common, level-wise, is that they are in the same grade. Aside from that, there are some students who understand literally NOTHING I say the entire class. By that I mean, they don't know what is your name, they don't know how old are you, nada. zip. zilch. zero. Then, there are some students who understand everything I say, and do the activities perfectly and speedily, and dear god I can hardly keep up. And then there is the other 70% of the class who are somewhere in the middle, wading amongst English words they recognize but can't use and understand but can't recreate on their own.
b) I see each student only once/week. I see each class only once/week. This means that I see all 630 students every week, but only one time/week. So, I can't remember anyone's name. Additionally, the students get only the most minimal practice of any of the work I do in our class. They have my class for 45 minutes once a week. 45 minutes is not nearly enough time to learn anything. Imagine if we had taken a Spanish class in high school for 45 minutes 1x per week. Now imagine if we had taken that class at age 13. Now imagine if we had taken that class at 13, with a teacher who literally speaks no more than 50 words of English. Most people learn nothing in their high school Spanish classes, so just imagine if this were the situation. This is precisely the situation in my classroom.
c) I have no idea how to discipline the students. Aside from stern looks, I don't discipline. I had assumed my co-teachers would handle the discipline section of the class (I was under the impresion that's how it was done at all the schools with native english teachers). Unfortunately my teachers don't really do much punishing. As such, my students have nearly free reign. I can give minus points, but I'm fairly hesitant to do that, because minus points directly factor into students grades. It's interesting because outside of school I'm a hardass, but in the classroom I can't figure out the appropriate way to handle discipline situations, and so I just don't do anything. It's beginning to get out of hand.
2. My co-teachers don't help me.
a) Upon arrival, I was told that I will not be using the books that the students use during the rest of their English classes. As such, I have to create my own lessons from scratch that probably has nothing to do with their lessons in their other classes. This is particuarly difficult and frustrating because they are learning multiple English lessons in a single week. 4 days/week they have English with their native Korean teacher, plus once/week English class with me, and most of them 2-5 times/week have English classes at hagwons, or private academies the girls attend after school. As such, they are learning up to three entirely different grammar points or ideas simultaneously. Now, which grammar point do you think they are least likely to remember? The one they receive 4x/week, the one they receive up to 5x/week or the one they get once/week? Obviously, mine.
b) Co-teaching supposedly implies some sort of teamwork or partnered approach to teaching in the classroom. Typically, in my classroom the only teamwork we do is her being present. I have 4 co-teachers, and typically none of them do much of anything. My primary co-teacher usually spends the majority of her time reading a book, and occasionally looking up to tell the students to pipe down or maybe, when times get desperate, translate something I say. The other ones will walk around and occasionally prompt students for answers, but that's about it. I should have been more assertive when I came here, but I just wasn't. I simply did not lay down the ground rules, I did not encourage more participation from the co-teachers, so now here I am.
c) I don't get any feedback on my lessons. The teachers usually don't talk to me about how a week is going in terms of lessons. I usually can tell when something sucks and I try to alter it, but really, I wish they would let me know. Unfortunately this is not the Korean way.
3. My students clearly do not fully respect me as their teacher. Generally they are relatively good, with few behavior problems. However, I've seen them with other teachers, and I have seen them with their homeroom teachers. There is no talking while the teacher is speaking. There is no note passing. Or not nearly as much anyways. Instead, I can consistently count on 2-4 girls holding their own conversations apart from the class, anywhere between 2 and 10 girls asleep, and another 10 passing notes. Gah. I want to rip my hair out.
It's a drag.
There are some really disappointing things about my job.
Other days it's wonderful. Today was a really good day. It was apple day (a day where you give an apple [korean: sagwa] to say you are sorry [korean: sagwa, you see the reason?] to someone. The students all received an apple and wrote notes to other teachers. I don't really understand everything that happened (no English, you see), but I saw that girls were posting notes on this board, and one of the notes said, "allison, I love you!" and it made me so happy I thought I might cry. Seriously.
Me posing with some apples next to the board with my note! *^.^*
Me posing with some apples next to the board with my note! *^.^*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)